Embracing my North Node (Finally)

When we look at our own charts, we often find sources for disappointment.  This is more a truism when we begin studying astrology, as opposed to the more seasoned astrologer that comes to the conclusion, can’t change it, it is who I am.  The next step is not just to acknowledge, but to accept and eventually rejoice in the uniqueness our charts point us toward.  My North Node is in Cancer (near my Moon) and in the Sixth house.  I couldn’t imagine a more unattractive placement for the NN.  The south Node in the 12th and in Capricorn is so much more what I thought I wanted to be.. it was/is easy, the SN often being sited as the place we fall back on, a place of familiarity, and the interpretation of some, the karmic past of other lives.  It has been a place I go back to often, having worked as a psychic and studied and worked in the field of psychology.  The North Node position seemed boring and lackluster, and a whole bunch of effort to put in “reality” world.  Ah, there it is…so much effort.  The NN is known as the place we need to strive.  Karmic astrologers believe this is the lesson for this lifetime.

Being organized (sixth house) has always been an issue with me.  I  suppose if I put effort into it, all would be fine, but a resentment takes hold, the “I don’t want to be told what to do”, even if by my own expectations.  Conversations of health and nutrition bore me to no en.  But much as as I would want to disown the placement, it has peeked through my entire life.  I have always done volunteer work (the Sixth, house of service), the pleasure and challenges of having been a foster parent, I have spent many years in the pet industry (sixth house of small animals and birds) and they do seem to be tainted with the influence of Cancer and the Moon’s presence nearby.

The chart co rulers are the Moon and Uranus.  It is the Uranus that makes me really want to buck the responsibility of the sixth house.  I grew up with a very strong mother that broke a lot of the barriers in place due to gender.  I followed somewhat in those foot steps, breaking the unwritten rules of society and the expectations thereof.  With that attitude, I shunned the more traditional role that women had historically been cast.  Growing up in a time of bra-burning and protesting, I remember there was a strike done by housewives!  Television and the media were shaping our ideals and telling us that women had to be more and that the traditional role was obsolete.  By the time I reached high school, home economics was no longer a subject – let alone the core study – that most females before me had been expected to particpate in.  That was just fine with me, I wanted to play in the science labs anyway and the baby had been thrown out with the bath water.  Circumstances have put my in a place where I am having to spend most of my time at home.  things slowly changed around here.  Instead of throwing out clothes because a hole appeared, I (at 45) bought my first sewing kit…and am teaching the kids how to use it.  I am on a quest now to produce the perfect homemade chicken pot pie.  I think I am going to try to reupholster my couch (how hard can it be if you don’t know any better?).  Have found myself rearranging the pantry cans to make more sense, and this makes me happy.  Once I got past the imposted feeling of shame that somehow I was letting down all of my suffrage sisters and realized this doesn’t make me any less of a person to want to have a more settled domestic life and to enjoy having an active role in such.  Bet my friend will love this new appreciation of the NN in Cancer…I have a huge list of cookies, pastries, and other goodies I plan to bake this Christmas.